Our cute Pipsqueak has croup :( Littlest Dude has also been sick this week but went back to school today, just in time for his Christmas party :) Oh how he ADORES parties :)
When we got on the plane to come home from Latvia, there was someone coughing their head off and I snuggled my littles close to me and prayed they wouldn't get it. But - darn that recirculated air and germs - they did get it :( Fevers and croupy coughs all around :( Hopefully Pipsqueak will come off it as quickly as Littlest Dude.
I couldn't help but think, as she cried in the night and I went and picked her up out of her crib and snuggled her close, did anyone pick her up and cuddle her close in the orphanage when she wasn't feeling well? Did they take her temperature, give her a fever reducer, and snuggle her and tell her it was going to be alright until she fell back to sleep again - 3 hours later? Did they take her out into the cold air to soothe her aching throat and tight chest for a few minutes? Did they rub her back and sing her songs to comfort her? I hope someone did - it probably didn't happen a lot - but I hope that even just once, someone snuggled and comforted her when she alone and feeling icky.
I want to be clear that she was in a very good baby house. She did not go without food. She had clean clothing. She had therapies. She had medical care. She was not abused. They did the best they could for their children - and they cared about their children - I could tell. I could tell from the way that Pipsqueak climbed up on the orphanage directors lap. I could tell from the way that Pipsqueak treats her doll babies - hugging and kissing them. I could tell.... But - 2 caregivers for 12 babies - toddlers - all the same age - all with needs - isn't the same as a mom. Imagine have twelvetuplets ;) no one could do that alone - no one could meet all their needs. But - I can tell that they sincerely tried to meet the needs of the children they cared for. And, I could tell that they were sincerely glad that Pipsqueak was getting a family before she was transferred to a different orphanage.
Did she get held and rocked when she was ill? I don't know if I will ever know. But - she does now. And - not only when she is ill, we rock her to sleep for each nap and every night when she goes to bed. I wish her birth mother could know how much we love our Pipsqueak. How much we cherish her and value her and will care for her for the rest of her life. I know that her heart must hurt, from what I know about her. I also know that if she had known that Pipsqueak would have down syndrome, then she would have never made it to be born, so for that I am eternally grateful that our smart, sassy, beautiful, amazing girl was born - even though her birth led to much heartbreak for her birth mother. I know what it is like to find out that your baby has a disability at birth, we didn't know that Littlest Dude had DS until his birth. It is an adjustment, but it didn't make a bit of difference to us - but we live in a different land - a different culture - with different laws and opportunities. I don't blame Pipsqueak's mother for her decision - my heart simply hurts for her that she had to make that decision, that there weren't the supports there for her to know that SHE could parent our beautiful girl, that there isn't acceptance there for people of all abilities. I hope that somehow, some way she she will know how grateful we are that she gave life to this amazing daughter that we share.
To be fair, it isn't perfect here in the US either. There is a 90% termination rate for a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome - it's so sad. But - we have made a lot more strides than Pipsqueak's country when it comes to the acceptance of disability and working to provide opportunities for people with disabilities to reach their full potential. I often think, if only people could see what I see when I look at my children and others with disabilities. Ability does not equal worth and value - you can't put a price on the love that Littlest Dude shares with others. You can't put a price on the lessons he has taught us. You can't put a price on the lives that he has touched and the influence he has on his classmates and others who are considered "typical". And - Pipsqueak is having the same effect on people and I know she will be a fabulous self-advocate.
So - today I will snuggle my girl tight and help her get better. I will help her know how much she is loved, on both sides of the ocean - because we talk about her other family often, and I let her know how much they love her too. Just like in one of her favorite SigningTime songs - there are many many many people who love me (her) :)
Keeping my fingers crossed that love, hot chocolate and medicine will help her to kick this bug asap!!! Until then - we will make the most of our "sick" days and snuggle and cuddle and keep warm on these cold snowy days!!!
Friday, December 20, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Best Gift EVER!!!!!
As Christmas draws near, I can't help but remember where we were this time last year - waiting on documents and praying so hard for our beautiful Pipsqueak (or Fiona, as she was known as, at the time :) In my mind, I could see her little face, I could imagine what it would be like to meet her, imagine how she would fit into our family.
In this case - my imagination - which is actually very good and vivid - had nothing on the reality of having Pipsqueak in our arms and home, and not just in our hearts and imagination!!!
I still feel the amazing wonder and gratitude that I felt last year - for each and every person who gave of themselves in ANY way to help us bring our daughter home. Your generosity will NEVER EVER be forgotten - we are immeasurably blessed by you - and because of you we have our sweet Pipsqueak home.
Miracles happen when you listen to the Lord - never doubt that! I have a firm testimony of His love for each and every one of us - we are His children - He KNOWS us. He has plans for us and if we listen the promptings of the spirit - as we did, as all of you who helped us bring Pipsqueak home did - we can know of His plan and be His servants here on earth. We will forever be indebted to all of you who gave of yourselves and sacrificed for our daughter- thank you so very very VERY much. Your gifts of love have made a difference - your gifts have shown my children how important it is to give - and what love and gifts are really about. The lessons they have learned from you will last their whole lives long. And - I know that in turn, they will listen for promptings of the spirit, they will open their hearts, homes, wallets, and give of their time when they are called upon, because of the lessons they have learned in the last year. Thank you for blessing us. We are so incredibly grateful.
What an amazing Christmas miracle she is. What an amazing gift. Thank you for the best gift ever!!!!
The joy she brings to our home - to us - to our other children - can not be measured! She is fun and funny, sassy, silly, sweet, loving, joyful, spirited, opinionated, smart, beautiful, amazing and such a gift. We are grateful for her - every.single.day!!!!
Thank you for helping us to get this precious tiny dynamo home. We are blessed - we are grateful. I hope you will feel our joy, this whole season long!!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!!!
In this case - my imagination - which is actually very good and vivid - had nothing on the reality of having Pipsqueak in our arms and home, and not just in our hearts and imagination!!!
I still feel the amazing wonder and gratitude that I felt last year - for each and every person who gave of themselves in ANY way to help us bring our daughter home. Your generosity will NEVER EVER be forgotten - we are immeasurably blessed by you - and because of you we have our sweet Pipsqueak home.
Miracles happen when you listen to the Lord - never doubt that! I have a firm testimony of His love for each and every one of us - we are His children - He KNOWS us. He has plans for us and if we listen the promptings of the spirit - as we did, as all of you who helped us bring Pipsqueak home did - we can know of His plan and be His servants here on earth. We will forever be indebted to all of you who gave of yourselves and sacrificed for our daughter- thank you so very very VERY much. Your gifts of love have made a difference - your gifts have shown my children how important it is to give - and what love and gifts are really about. The lessons they have learned from you will last their whole lives long. And - I know that in turn, they will listen for promptings of the spirit, they will open their hearts, homes, wallets, and give of their time when they are called upon, because of the lessons they have learned in the last year. Thank you for blessing us. We are so incredibly grateful.
What an amazing Christmas miracle she is. What an amazing gift. Thank you for the best gift ever!!!!
The joy she brings to our home - to us - to our other children - can not be measured! She is fun and funny, sassy, silly, sweet, loving, joyful, spirited, opinionated, smart, beautiful, amazing and such a gift. We are grateful for her - every.single.day!!!!
Thank you for helping us to get this precious tiny dynamo home. We are blessed - we are grateful. I hope you will feel our joy, this whole season long!!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!!!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Happy 6 months home, Pipsqueak!!!!
Yes - I am terrible at blogging - I really am :) It's just cause I am so busy being a mom - and working my hardest to be a great mom :)
But - yesterday marked 6 months since "Gotcha Day" with our cute Pipsqueak! And - to make it even more meaningful - we are actually in country on our 3rd and final trip finalizing her adoption :) Our final embassy interview was actually 6 months to the day that Pipsqueak came to be with us. How blessed we feel to have her in our family.
My heart is full of gratitude for so many things. For everyone who helped us bring Pipsqueak home, for Pipsqueak's birthmother and her love for our daughter. My heart hurts for her, for her pain at giving up her beautiful daughter - I know it can not have been an easy decision for her and from the reports we have, it has weighed heavily on heart for the last 3 years. My heart hurts for this country who doesn't provide services or accept the differences that disability brings. My heart hurts for a country and people that don't see the same beauty in my children as I do (which can also be said for a lot of people in our own country :( but at least there are laws there that protect people with disabilities and many, many people who support and accept our kids there, and opportunities and supports for them). If only her country had the same supports and different views on disability, she would not be my daughter, but would have been able to stay with her birth family. And - honestly - I think that would have been beautiful and wonderful and the way it should be. But - since it can't be that way - I am so incredibly grateful that I get to be her momma!! I think our family must be the Lord's Plan B for his beautiful Pipsqueak :)
She has grown and changed soooooo much over the past 6 months - it is just amazing!!! Here is a picture of her on "Gotcha Day".....
She weighed about 19 lbs and was 30 inches tall with size 3 feet :) They measured her at our embassy appointment and she is almost 32 inches tall, 26 1/4 lbs and has size 5 feet now :) But her physical development is far surpassed by her emotional, cognitive and language development!
Her acquisition of English is nothing short of amazing! When we got her, they said she knew 3 words in Latvian - ball, hi, and yes. She actually knew about 10 - but her vocabulary was incredibly limited, even though she understood a lot (from what I witnessed, since we don't speak Latvian - we couldn't exactly gauge that LOL). We started teaching her English and ASL in Latvia - when we came home to the US in early July, she could sign duck, dog and more. Now she has a minimum of 100 signs, mostly all with word approximations! She puts together 3 signs to request things :) She stands in the hallway and calls to me 'MOM!!!' and she knows all the names of her siblings and pets :)
She is learning to enjoy new things that were previously scary to her - swinging, splashing in the water, dancing in the rain :) She can almost jump independently. She can walk up and down stairs holding on to a railing independently. She climbs everything in sight. She dances with abandon and adores music. She tries new foods (occasionally) and eats things I never would have imagined she would like, and doesn't eat things that we all THINK she SHOULD like :)
She has experienced her first Halloween (loved it!), her first Thanksgiving (the mashed potatoes were a big hit), and decorating for the first time for Christmas! She has jumped on trampolines, gone to the park, been to movies, played with friends, experienced bounce houses and huge airfilled slides. She has gone to church, the grocery store, the mall, to restaurants! She is living - and learning - and growing!
She is learning how to love and be loved. Her unsolicited hugs and kisses are the best! Her little voice saying "I love you" after we sing the Barney song at bedtime melts my heart. Her smile lights up our home! Watching her interact with Littlest Dude makes me smile (and occasionally makes me crazy - since sometimes they are naughty and sometimes they get on each others nerves - you know - typical sibling stuff....). They are buddies and like to be where each other is. They will have a special relationship - I think she's going to be the boss of it LOL Except she may soon learn that Littlest Dude is not exactly the best "listener and do-as-someone-else-tells-him" kind of brother ;)
She is bright - she is beautiful - she is an amazing blessing. She teaches me lessons - in patience, in love, in perseverance, in determination.... by example and by pushing my buttons :) Adoption isn't always easy - and we are still very early in to it all - but it is so worth it. Even at the end of hard days, when she is snuggled, sleeping in my arms, before I put her in her bed, and I remind her that she is beautiful, she is smart, she is important, she is brave, she is kind, and she is special, I remember and focus on all that she IS and know that each one is true. I hope she will always know that and feel it to the depth of her soul, as well. And that she will know that she IS and always has been loved - by her first mother, and her last mother.
Six months in a family makes a HUGE difference..... Just look and see!!!!
But - yesterday marked 6 months since "Gotcha Day" with our cute Pipsqueak! And - to make it even more meaningful - we are actually in country on our 3rd and final trip finalizing her adoption :) Our final embassy interview was actually 6 months to the day that Pipsqueak came to be with us. How blessed we feel to have her in our family.
My heart is full of gratitude for so many things. For everyone who helped us bring Pipsqueak home, for Pipsqueak's birthmother and her love for our daughter. My heart hurts for her, for her pain at giving up her beautiful daughter - I know it can not have been an easy decision for her and from the reports we have, it has weighed heavily on heart for the last 3 years. My heart hurts for this country who doesn't provide services or accept the differences that disability brings. My heart hurts for a country and people that don't see the same beauty in my children as I do (which can also be said for a lot of people in our own country :( but at least there are laws there that protect people with disabilities and many, many people who support and accept our kids there, and opportunities and supports for them). If only her country had the same supports and different views on disability, she would not be my daughter, but would have been able to stay with her birth family. And - honestly - I think that would have been beautiful and wonderful and the way it should be. But - since it can't be that way - I am so incredibly grateful that I get to be her momma!! I think our family must be the Lord's Plan B for his beautiful Pipsqueak :)
She has grown and changed soooooo much over the past 6 months - it is just amazing!!! Here is a picture of her on "Gotcha Day".....
Her acquisition of English is nothing short of amazing! When we got her, they said she knew 3 words in Latvian - ball, hi, and yes. She actually knew about 10 - but her vocabulary was incredibly limited, even though she understood a lot (from what I witnessed, since we don't speak Latvian - we couldn't exactly gauge that LOL). We started teaching her English and ASL in Latvia - when we came home to the US in early July, she could sign duck, dog and more. Now she has a minimum of 100 signs, mostly all with word approximations! She puts together 3 signs to request things :) She stands in the hallway and calls to me 'MOM!!!' and she knows all the names of her siblings and pets :)
She is learning to enjoy new things that were previously scary to her - swinging, splashing in the water, dancing in the rain :) She can almost jump independently. She can walk up and down stairs holding on to a railing independently. She climbs everything in sight. She dances with abandon and adores music. She tries new foods (occasionally) and eats things I never would have imagined she would like, and doesn't eat things that we all THINK she SHOULD like :)
She has experienced her first Halloween (loved it!), her first Thanksgiving (the mashed potatoes were a big hit), and decorating for the first time for Christmas! She has jumped on trampolines, gone to the park, been to movies, played with friends, experienced bounce houses and huge airfilled slides. She has gone to church, the grocery store, the mall, to restaurants! She is living - and learning - and growing!
She is learning how to love and be loved. Her unsolicited hugs and kisses are the best! Her little voice saying "I love you" after we sing the Barney song at bedtime melts my heart. Her smile lights up our home! Watching her interact with Littlest Dude makes me smile (and occasionally makes me crazy - since sometimes they are naughty and sometimes they get on each others nerves - you know - typical sibling stuff....). They are buddies and like to be where each other is. They will have a special relationship - I think she's going to be the boss of it LOL Except she may soon learn that Littlest Dude is not exactly the best "listener and do-as-someone-else-tells-him" kind of brother ;)
She is bright - she is beautiful - she is an amazing blessing. She teaches me lessons - in patience, in love, in perseverance, in determination.... by example and by pushing my buttons :) Adoption isn't always easy - and we are still very early in to it all - but it is so worth it. Even at the end of hard days, when she is snuggled, sleeping in my arms, before I put her in her bed, and I remind her that she is beautiful, she is smart, she is important, she is brave, she is kind, and she is special, I remember and focus on all that she IS and know that each one is true. I hope she will always know that and feel it to the depth of her soul, as well. And that she will know that she IS and always has been loved - by her first mother, and her last mother.
Six months in a family makes a HUGE difference..... Just look and see!!!!
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